Honeycrisp's Horror Movie Survival Guide part 1

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.

2. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, kill them immediately. It will save you a lot of trouble in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.

3. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT!

4. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits. Just get out!

5. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.

6. If you're running from a monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

7. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, multi-level marketing, and so on, kill them immediately.

8. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange because you thought you had a full tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely while being eaten alive.

9. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house.

10. If you enter a house and a disembodied voice tells you to "GET OUT," listen to the helpful voice and leave.

11. If anyone offers you $1,000,000 if you just stay the night in a house - just leave and go and buy a lottery ticket. Your chances of winning the lottery are slightly higher then your chances of living through the night.

12. If you are spending the night in a spooky old house on a dare, do not sneak away to another part of the house for romantic interludes with your significant other. Instead, wait until you get a nice, clean, safe motel room.

13. If you come across a body, do not walk slowly in the direction of a suspicious noise, or stand above the body in a stunned state of shock. Instead, call the police on your cell phone while you are running in the opposite direction.

14. Learn to control sneezing, coughing, and other bodily noises so that you won't give yourself away when you're trying to hide from tyrannosaurs, henchmen etc.

15. If you enter a house, fortress, cave, temple, tomb, graveyard, etc. especially one with a malevolent aura or history of macabre events and an eerie, disembodied voice orders you to depart the premises, go just go.

16. Stay away from all buildings or natural features of the landscape that resemble skulls, fists, fanged mouths, etc.

17. No matter how hooked you are on phonics, don't try to pronounce things you find inscribed in ancient artifacts.

18. Artifacts that are found in pieces should be left in pieces. Most importantly, if the pieces of an artifact stick together during assembly without any sort of adhesive (such as duct tape) STOP !

19. When the scholar in the expedition says that the carving promises wrath on he who breaks the seal; it's time to go back to the camp.

20. If it glows, avoid it.

When the alien ship arrives, do not join the welcoming committee.

Do not take the shortcut through the woods.

If you find yourself on a lost continent (underground world), where there is prehistoric life or an ancient civilization still flourishing, there is also an active volcano.

You can pretty much find a chainsaw when you need one.

If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

Turn on the lights!

Never dig in sand, the woods or graveyards. In fact, never dig up anything.

When the power goes out, wandering the house with a flickering candle is not a good idea.

If someone calls you and says they have vital information and asks you to meet them somewhere, don't bother showing up. He'll be dead when you get there and you will be charged with the murder. Trust me on this one.

Animals (dogs, cats, birds, fish) always know who's bad and will naturally bark, hiss, chirp or point at them.

Under no circumstances get a job as a security guard at a scientific research center.

How long is too long?

on January 13th, I commissioned an artist on deviant Art for an unshaded color picture of my Honeycrisp for 240 dA points.

Seven and a half months later, I have seen or heard absolutely NOTHING from the artist. No preliminary sketch of Honeycrisp, no nothing.

It really makes me mad. If i don't get anything from this person on August 13th (Eight friggin months later) I am asking for my points back and will commission someone else.

Meet the Parents

                                           Honeycrisp's mom and dad, Domino and Keepsake Applewood

The Girls of Yamato 2199

Some anime cheesecake for you. Enjoy.

All characters are © Bandai 2012
 I don't own them.

Here have some art! This is gonna be big!

Destrier and Honeycrisp. Scarred side of Big Red. above. Below in armor. 

Honeycrisp (above) Checkered Flag (below, sans cutie mark)

Honeycrisp is scared of heights.

Flt Lt Starsfall (above) PawPrints (below)

Stormchaser and Sunglow

All artwork and characters are © eablasingame. Moar on my dA account

Well darn it!

I have a huge case of writers block that has settled in place and seems to be quite unmovable. I can't seem to get motivated to write anything more on "A Soldier in Silver" in spite of weekly attempts to get something going by rereading the current chapters.

 so I am calling it quits.

The story is over, there is nothing more to see here. If there is anyone looking, that is. Since no one has even given me any kind of feed back here, I am taking that as a no.

But if someone has...Sorry.

"A Soldier in Silver" Chapter 11

Disclaimer: All Settings and My Little Pony Friendship is Magic is ™ Hasbro. I own nothing.
All Characters except Swordread Shieldon are ©littlebittysami/Eileen B
Swordread Shieldon is ©GeneralDurandal on deviantArt

Chapter 13.

His head hurt. He was so very hungry. The last thing he remembered was Swordread asking him if he was okay.  Then there was nothing but blackness. Until now.  Now he could feel the light. Feel it because it pierced him sharply, like tiny splinters of glass slipping past his shut eyelid and stabbing into his brain. Destrier cursed loudly and shifted away from the window, slowly opening his one good eye.

"Good Morning to you too, Mister Sunshine." He knew that voice too well. The red pony groaned.

"Why are you still here?" Destrier grumbled as he buried his head under the covers. "You have your prisoner, go home."

"Is that any way to talk to your big brother?" snickered Swordread with a cheeky smile. "Besides, Dad said that I have to get all the eyewitness' testimony and that includes you, Red. We have to a good case against this pony. Not that we don't have a good enough case to begin with, but we need your testimony to seal it."

Destrier ignored the "big brother" comment, for in a sense Swordread was his brother.  Not biologically, of course. When Destrier was ten, his father was ambushed and murdered by a gryphon in his own home at Fort Corral. His mother, unable to cope with the loss of her husband, retreated within her own mind, effectively making her young son an orphan. It was Swordread's father Lanceor, a widower with children himself after his wife was attacked and killed by the newborn Nightmare Moon, who took in the colt. He raised his friends' son as his own.

"You need my testimony for an attempted robbery, attempted murder and assault with a deadly weapon case," Destrier said grumpily, rubbing his left temple as if to attempt to soothe the pain going on within. "You should have enough evidence to lock him away for a good long time from the accounts of every other pony there besides me."

"Actually… our bad little colt isn't just a thief and would-be killer. He has killed before. Several times, too. Allpony, Manehatten, Fillydelphia, Baltimare, Trottingham, District of Coltlumbia, Ralniegh to name a few places he's killed. Never leaves an eyewitness. Ate a few of the victims as well, usually mares and their young foals, that's why he filed his teeth to match that of the carnivores he emulated. So, the testimony of a former commander in the Equestrian Royal Guard would help build a nice solid case against him."

Destrier was about to ask Swordread how they knew that the pony that attacked the Inn was the serial killer that they had been looking for when a loud banging started outside. The large red pony was out of the bed and at his window in a flash, ready to give a tongue lashing to those making such noise, but the scene of utter devastation stayed his tongue.

Trees were uprooted or broken everywhere in the path of the storm. Several houses in Ponyville had some form of roof damage, whether the roof had lost a few shingles, to there not being a roof on the building anymore, as it was lying across the lane in a ditch. There were ponies everywhere, cleaning up or fixing the damage that the storm had left behind. He recognized a few guards and other citizens from Canterlot pitching in to help.

While the Inn was spared, the little blue house that Honeycrisp lived in was nothing more than a foundation and a couple of walls. The banging he had heard was one of the walls being pulled away from what was left of her furniture by Honeycrisp, her friends, her cousins and a couple of ponies he didn't recognize. As he watched, Honeycrisp found an old tattered and muddy blue ribbon and turned to a large black and white paint pony with a two toned gray mane and burst into tears.

"How long have I been out?" Destrier asked, watching as the newcomer wrapped a hoof about Honeycrisp and moved her so that she could cry on his shoulder.

"About a day and a half. That pony just arrived this morning. He—"   Swordread stopped as Destrier shoved past him and walked out the door, heading out to help the others.

"Hey! You should be in bed!" he shouted after Destrier, knowing full well that his "little brother" was going to ignore him. It was pretty amusing too. He'd never seen Destrier looking so jealous in his life, not even when he was dating Minty.

Destrier's attempt to get out of the Inn was foiled by the appearance of Wildflower. The pretty earth pony gave him a smile and with a slight gesture motioned to the tray on her back.

"Captain Shieldon said you would be hungry and would want something sugary to eat when you woke up," she said, her voice soft and friendly. "We have some apple oatcakes and cider for you. That should help make you feel better. I'll put it over here on the table so you can eat."

Wildflower set the tray on a sideboard, and for an earth pony she did this with practiced ease. Destrier was going to decline the food and head out, but the delicious aroma of the oatcakes that caressed his nose was just too tempting to resist. His stomach growled loudly, demanding the tasty cakes get in there.

All Swordread heard, however, was 'cider'.

"You have cider? What kind?" he asked excitedly from behind Destrier. "You're serving it for breakfast? I was right! This place is retirement paradise!"

"It's not hard cider, silly," Wildflower said after a moment, color leaping into her cheeks at the sight of the other pony. "It's Applewood Farms cider and we do have both kinds. We just don't serve the hard cider for breakfast."

I've never had Applewood Cider. Is it any good?" Swordread asked as Destrier tucked into his meal. The stallion's stomach ceased making angry noises and settled to the task of converting the incoming food into fuel. The oatcakes were simply delicious; he'd never had them like this before – toasty, warm and covered in cooked apples. The cider was excellent as well, sweet but not over sweet. The meal was so good, Destrier asked for thirds. He needed it; he'd expended a lot of energy during the healing. His headache receded as he filled his stomach.

While Destrier ate, Swordread flirted with Wildflower. This was a natural enough occurrence because an off duty Swordread mixed with mares equaled outrageous flirtation, only at most times Swordread got carried away in his flirting and usually ended up getting a hoof to the face for his trouble.  This time the flirting had a purpose, Swordread wanted to try the cider, the hard kind. Wildflower refused at first, worrying aloud that she could get into trouble for serving it so early in the day, but Swordread eventually wore her down. His victory was short-lived when she returned with two very small shot glasses full of the amber liquid. She set one by each the unicorns, smiling at the disappointed frown that appeared on Swordread's face.

"What is THIS?" the white unicorn complained, looking at the small glass in askance. "Where's the rest?"

"You said you wanted to taste it. So, this is how we serve Applewood Hard for tastings. If you want more, you will have to wait until lunch," she said primly as Swordread glared. She then set another glass on the table, this one empty. Both stallions looked from her to glass and back again. "You swish the cider in your mouth and then spit it into the glass," she explained.

"Spit it out? That's just wrong."

"That's how you 'taste' hard cider."

"That's the way snobs taste cider. We're soldiers."

"One former soldier here," corrected Destrier.

"Soldiers," insisted Swordread, taking up his tiny glass and knocking it back. His eyes widened in surprise and he said with a small grin, "Whoa, that's really good stuff."

Destrier liked his cider a lot. He had watched as Swordread had tasted his little shot and gauged his reaction. Since his "brother" actually enjoyed the brew, he tried his little shot as well. The taste was very good, so smooth with a hint of cinnamon. Smoother than some of the cider they got in Canterlot, that was certain.

"What's this cider called again?"

"Applewood Hard. Honeycrisp's family makes it. It's from her grandfather's secret recipe."

At the mention of the little palomino paint pony, Destrier remembered his jealousy and pushed away from the table. He walked out of the dining room, stepping lightly over Eaglewing, who still slept soundly recovering from his wounds. The Pegasus barely stirred as the older stallions passed.

Outside of the Inn, the damage path from the storm was worse than from what he had seen from his window. Even the Inn suffered some minor structural damage.

Honeycrisp was still leaning on the new stallion in the midst of the rubble that had been her home, and had the nerve to wave a small hoof at him and smile. Destrier ignored her, turning his back on them and walking stiffly towards town.

"What's eatin' him?" he heard Honeycrisp say to Swordread, but the other pony made no answer that he could hear.  He could certainly hear Honeycrisp's reaction, because it was very loud.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS? DESTRIER, YOU STUPID JERK! YOU…YOU CREEP!" she howled, and then something whizzed by his head, followed closely by a door handle and many other small missiles that she could hunt up in the wreckage. He turned just in time to see Honeycrisp throw a decorative horse shoe, which hit his horn dead center and spun a few times before it smacked him in the muzzle. "HE'S MY BROTHER, YOU MULEBRAINED IDIOT!!!"

"Ringer! Give that mare a prize!" laughed both Swordread and the black and white paint pony.

Destrier glared, and with his new horn ornament, he stalked back to Honeycrisp who was still hunting for more objects to throw at him. He stood in front of her, tall and intimidating. But she stayed her ground, glaring up at him defiantly.

"I love you." he said quietly before he leaned down and kissed her full on the lips.